Using emotional intelligence to handle difficult customers

As a credit professional, conflict comes with the territory of credit management; you can’t always avoid it. It becomes even more challenging when customers are being uncooperative or responding with aggression. In these situations, credit professionals can either react emotionally or take a strategic approach to work toward a solution that benefits both the customer and the business. 

Why it matters: Be it a brief misunderstanding or an intense conflict, how you handle difficult customers sets you apart. By mastering emotional intelligence, credit professionals can turn conflict into opportunity and grow as impactful leaders. 

What is emotional intelligence? 

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand, manage and respond to your own emotions. By regulating your emotions, you can communicate more effectively, empathize with others and navigate challenges more successfully. High emotional intelligence can help you defuse conflict and come to a mutually beneficial solution for both parties, further strengthening your relationship. 

Studies have shown that practicing emotional intelligence is key to advancing in your career. According to an ElectroIQ report, emotional intelligence accounts for over 60% of people’s personal and professional success and companies that have a focus on emotional intelligence are 22 times more likely to outperform those that do not.  

While it may sound straightforward, emotional intelligence requires ongoing practice; even the most experienced professionals can find it challenging at times. In fact, only about 36% of people around the world are emotionally intelligent, per the ElectroIQ report.  

Emotional intelligence in practice 

Credit professionals have found that by practicing emotional intelligence, they’re able to handle even the most disgruntled customers. It can be as simple as stepping away from the conversation. “If a customer starts getting upset during a call, I usually pause the conversation, acknowledge how they’re feeling and suggest we pick it up later,” said Jason Mott, CCE, corporate credit manager at MFA Incorporated (Columbia, MO). “The next time we talk, we’ll be able to have a calmer, more logical conversation to understand each other better.” 

During a heated conversation, it can be tempting to interrupt or dismiss the other person, but that only leads to frustration and misunderstandings. By actively listening to what your customers are saying, you can better understand the issue and help de-escalate the situation.  

“When a customer is being difficult, I’ll let them talk without jumping in too quickly, and I’ll paraphrase or repeat key points to show that I’m really trying to understand their situation,” said Stephanie Wilson, AR specialist at Trinity Logistics (Seaford, DE). “Once people feel heard, they tend to shift from a defensive to a more cooperative stance. From there, we can guide the conversation toward realistic solutions, maybe explaining the next steps, offering a payment plan or clarifying where the confusion came from.” 

Practicing empathy, the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings, is a core component of emotional intelligence. It shows your customers you care about their experience and are committed to finding a solution that meets their needs. Of course, this is easier said than done when a customer is being aggressive or confrontational. Even so, just acknowledging your customer’s perspective can go a long way in building rapport.  

“I say something like, ‘I can see how that situation would be frustrating’ or ‘Thank you for your patience,’” said Brittany Yvon, CBA, CICP, credit manager at Seaboard International Forest Products, LLC (Nashua, NH). “This shows that you care but also doesn’t put your company in a position of liability.” 

Another key aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to read emotions and body language. Paying attention to your customer’s social cues will help you adapt your approach and prevent the conversation from escalating. “If I’m talking to them over the phone, I listen to their tone of voice and pay attention to if their responses are short,” said Kevin Stinner, CCE, CCRA, credit manager at J.R. Simplot Company (Loveland, CO). “With email and texts, it can be more difficult to tell. But if their answers are long and use flowery language, they’re comfortable and in a good mood, essentially. If their answers are short or less consistent, something’s wrong there.” 

If you anticipate difficulty with a customer, or that a situation may get tense, have a plan. Try to find a good time to talk with the least number of distractions. “I usually make an agreement with the customer early on in the conversation to find a solution,” Stinner said. “This way we’re on the same page. Then, I ask important questions and take detailed notes for reference. I also find that note taking helps you discretely let out your frustrations.” 

The bottom line:  When credit professionals prioritize emotional intelligence over instinctive reaction, they do more than resolve a conflict—they model leadership under pressure. That kind of composure doesn’t just protect customer relationships; it builds long-term credibility, influence and trust.